Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Your mother knitted it
Filling it with a sad mistrust,
Running along a few blue stripes
Others fashioned it with
Pins and needles
To poke at you
To prick you.
But you wore it all those years,
The warmth of your skin
Would soften those needles
That everyone one would get along
If only you tried a bit harder.
It itched and bled you
Hurt and maimed you
Strangled you around the neck
Too tightly woven.
You left the house
But took the sweater with you.
You wear it still,
Pretending it only tickles
If you only wore it long enough
The sweater would fit right.
But it’s too tight
And too loose
The garment isn’t very becoming.
(It makes you look a little fat)
And its garish pinks and gingers
Wash your face to pale.
Take that goddamn sweater off.
Can't you see it doesn’t fit you anymore?
Monday, December 7, 2009
For Christmas, I want a little car that has any kind of color of stripes. And the other thing I want is a van that is a remote controller. And that’s it.
But I do want some more presents. A new lunchbox and a toy elf and no more. That’s done.
I love you, Santa.
Naturally, he neglected to remind Santa about all the fun times he's been having at school, on the bus, etc. For more info on that, see this post. He's probably hoping Santa won't know, or won't care, and won't shove a huge, anvil-sized lump of coal into his stocking, with a note reminding him that he's been naughty all year.
Okay, so he hasn't been naughty all year. Just 89% of it.
And Santa noticed. But Santa loves him anyway.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Dear Santa Claus:
Hi! How are you doing? How are your reindeer doing? Is Rudolph okay? I hope you have a great Christmas. Are your elves working really hard? I’m glad your elves are making gifts for girls and boys that are good. You are so jolly.
Were we good this year? I’m making this note to you. What do you like about Christmas? I like putting up our Christmas tree and getting Christmas ready in our house. I like talking to Grandpa on the computer when we are opening our presents. I like the snow because I get to throw snowballs and I like to make snow angels with my family. I like decorating the tree, too.
This Christmas I would like some puzzles (with 30 pieces in them), a panda pillow pet, a sewing kit, a toy frog, and a big coloring book. What I really want is Operation SpongeBob and other games on the Wii, board games, a Nintendo DS, and a mini-laptop that Brandon and I are going to share. I’d also like a Fashion Holiday Barbie Doll, a painting and coloring kit, a Non-stop Glamour Barbie Minivan, and a Rudolf toy with a glowing nose.
Have a happy Christmas, Santa Claus. Take a big, long nap, and I hope your reindeer have a fun time, too.
I think she might have made the whole letter small talk and never gotten around to the gifts if I hadn't reminded her why she was writing. I'll post my son's when he's done with his if it ends up even remotely interesting.