Friday, January 1, 2010

Ten Years Ago

It's not my tendency to look into the past, except in my novels, but my husband does it. He pointed out, too, that ten years ago was a bit of a parallel to last night. Ten years ago we were at the Millennium Celebration at Walt Disney World, watching Tinkerbell fly up to the castle before fireworks went off. And we were childless. I had just miscarried, and though my body had recovered, I was still devastated by the loss. Yet only three months later, right around my birthday, I would conceive my daughter. Now she has just turned nine, and last night, as my husband and I thought back to that time ten years ago, she and her brother watched Tinkerbell on DVD. 

Full circle. So much change, so much that stayed the same. 

I wonder what will happen in the next ten years. This time ten years from now, Crystal will likely be through her first semester of college (or hairdressing school, or something else, if she decides she's not ready for college yet). Richard and I will be wondering how we will afford college for both her and Brandon. I hope we're still married. I hope we're still happy. We've been happy for nearly 21 years now. Is 31 years in our future? 

Honestly, I can't predict anything. All I know is now. 

I'd be willing, ten years from now, to look back. But only for a moment. I don't have time to wallow in it, even the good stuff.

One thing I can guarantee is that, if I'm still alive, I'll still be working at something. And that's the best future I can imagine.

Now, though, laundry needs doing, and Brandon needs the toaster. And I have a novel to revise. Today is all that matters.


  1. It's amazing how much a different ten years can make. Ten years ago, I had just left my first just husband, ending just over a decade of increasing misery. There was more misery to come, but so much happiness, beyond anything I had imagined.

    So, for me, it's been getting steadily better as time's moved on.

  2. It is hard to think about.

    Life seemed easy ten years ago, even though i made less money and had few things, life had less worries less stress. But looking back it all felt easier somehow.

  3. There was a ten years ago? How many lifetimes was that in the past?

    I actually remember but life was much different then for me than it is now. MUCH, so much so that nothing then has an relevance left to what and where I am now.

    Your memory though shakes is much involved with your present and worthy of a look back so you can see the hand of the spirit upon your being.

  4. 10 years ago. Drawing a blank. :)

    2000, Now I remember: Pre-Iraq, pre-9/11, pre-Bush, Pre-Columbia. Argh. Hope this decade is more peaceful.

    Happy New Year to you and yours.

  5. Ten years swings by awfully fast. Too fast. Especially once the kids move out--then it only slows down when they come home. Time warp and all.