Monday, June 13, 2011

Bore Me

Go ahead
Bore me
Tell me for the eighteenth time
How you and the wife first met
Or what your third grade teacher once called you
When calling you that was okay
Before parents sued
Before teachers were fired for stuff like that

Tell me again where you got your watch
God knows I've needed one to add to my
Already extensive collection
And please tell me how kids should be raised
How tuna is best made into a salad
Why tomatoes aren't as tasty
As they used to be

Go over the chemical composition of
Latex paint
Or the effect of tornadoes
On Wal-Mart's consumers
Or how hair follicles go gray
And when
And why
And the day you first got
Your first gray hair
And what you did with it
Once you'd pulled it out

Go ahead
Blather about it all
With little fear
That I will copy all your wisdom

After all
I wouldn't want my novels
To become famous
For boring people
To death.


  1. Have I told you how much I really am enjoying War and Peace by Tolstoy? And then 82% of the way through it my damn Kindle screen cracked. I think it took a cannonball from one of the Russians of Kuhtzov's army. Oh yeah my kid got a new job 4 states away with a 25K raise, now he gets to get gray hair. What the hell is a watch anyway? By the by did I ever tell you what happened one day at band camp? Need anymore inspiration from me?

  2. You made me smile... I love the tone.

    thx for sharing it.