Friday, February 19, 2010

Wielding Power

It never fails to amaze me when a bit of a glitch in my most significant relationship reduces me to a quivering bowl of depressed jelly.

I apologize for the depressed poem of yesterday. I still am a bit sniffly, but my honey has done me worlds of good, just by listening, just by talking, just by turning off the Olympics for a night and paying me attention. Mostly, he's reminded me that my feelings are valid, that my opinion is mine, and deserves my attention.

I'm mostly back to my cheery self, ready to take on the world, but the incident, however brief, has made me wonder...

I was once told a quote similar to "Name whose opinion matters most to you, for you are his slave." It's cropped up several times in my life since I first heard it, and it's always disturbed me, for I realize that I am slave to several.

And, here again, I face my list of Top Ten List of People Who Have Some Hold Over Me:

(sorry, I rewrote it several times, but I couldn't seem to make it less wordy)

10. My students (yes, I actually care what they think... whether they are learning, etc. I care less, though, if they don't come to class, neglect their work, or blame me when a crappy paper gets a deservedly crappy grade.)
9. My sister (she's [slightly] older and knows more, even though we are night/day different)
8. Colleagues (unless they are insane or don't know how to teach)
7. My kids (low on the list b/c they are too young to know what's good for them)
6. My blog buddies (I'd be more afraid, but they are all too nice)
5. My brother-in-law (b/c he's brilliant, and also a writer)
4. My friends (especially the parents, since I don't know what I'm doing)
3. My mother-in-law (b/c she's smart and I adore her)
2. My husband (best friend, compassionate, amazing, intelligent...blah, blah, blah, ad nauseum)

and the number one person?

1. Me.

Yes, other people matter to me. Yes, I want to impress others, to win them over, to get them to like me. But no one is more important than I am. I hold more power over my own happiness than anyone else. I fall out of balance when I forget that.

So, who's on your list? Anybody ready to share?


  1. My kid... that’s it, everyone else better know my love in conditional... I expect love, respect, forgiveness, understanding that I give in return... or goodbye and good luck.

    My kids have the luxury of unconditional love, good thing they don't know that yet.

    I rarely let others affect my happiness or self-confidence.

    I have always been that way.
    Hope you know you're worth being treated like a goddess, keep your head up and plow through it.

    thx for sharing...

  2. There are people who matter to me, who's happiness matters to me, whose good opinion I would like to have - you, my favorite aunt, my boss. But, truth told, I expect all of you to accept me as I am.

    When it comes to good opinions I feel I must have, there's only Lee and my children. I suppose I'm on the list, but I'm not at the top.

  3. Not ten hold sway on me but three only.

    3. My past experience

    2. My immediate present

    1. That spirit we generically term God.

  4. Who's opinion truly matters to me.

    1. God

    2. Me: God has always been there for me even when I wasn't there for myself. And in the pursuit of my dreams I am my greatest supporter because I have high expectations of myself and believe that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
    3, My Friends, Family and Role models. Role models most importantly because they are people I have seen something in that I aspire to. My family isn't as high up because they have disappointed in the past and sometimes honestly don't understand me. I still love them though.