Enough

I never called you enough
For me
Never found enough time
For all the words I needed to give you
Or glean from you
Little treasures
To tuck into my pockets
And cherish later, when I was alone.

You gave me the glimpse of angels
Of God himself
Yet I have not filled myself enough with you
To cast away all doubt
To believe
To know
With all my heart
What you know all too well.

Yet we are out of time
I am out of chances
To share my little self with you.
And though I do not doubt
The place your sweetness leads you to
The joy I feel for your sake
Is not enough to heal my heart
Torn open by the loss of you.

Time falls too fast
And you must leave the world behind
Quietly
The same beautiful way you lived your life
And I must wait
Until I venture to the timeless lands myself
And you smile, and wave,
And sit down next to me.

Only then will I have enough
Of you.

God bless you on your journey, dearest Joyce.

Take a Chance--and WIN Death by Chocolate!

Ahhh, Valentine's Day, the one day a year we think about love. Or about not having it. Or about how we hate Valentine's Day.

I understand, I really do. Love is hard. It's work, and it often doesn't work out. I've been really lucky, though. Twenty-two years ago (sheesh, but I'm old), the hubby and I had just started dating (Jan. 19th was our first day, if you remember, the Eve of St. Agnes). Nearly a month later, we were going to a party together at a friend's house, and I spent a panicked week trying to figure out what to give him.

Flowers? I didn't know at that point that he liked flowers. Chocolates? What kind of chocolates did he prefer? I didn't know him well enough to know that, either. A stuffed animal? Surely not. (I was totally right about this one--stuffed animals are totally not his thing).

Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So I gave him the only gift I could think of: a poem. Yup, I less than a month after we'd started dating, I wrote him a love sonnet. And not just any old sonnet. A sonnet that said I wanted to grow old with him, spend the rest of my life with him. You know the kind--the stalking sonnet that would scare any sane guy away in a heartbeat (or a quick read-thru, anyway).

I wrote it on parchment, using my calligraphy pens, rolled it up and tied it with a red ribbon. And, yes, I gave it to him.

"Woah!" you might exclaim, "and he married you?" Yup. He thought the poem was fantastic, and he showed it to everybody at the party. And some people were actually jealous. Nobody ran away. Pretty weird, huh? And AWESOME, too!

Now, before you say, with that sarcasm in your voice, "Oh, sure, we're just supposed to take that chance--but what if we get hurt?" don't think for a moment that I don't know the risk I took. In fact, before there was the hubby, I wrote several sonnets--more tentative ones, mind you--to another guy at college. Yup, that's right. This was already my MO.

That interaction didn't go so well. In December, the guy wrote me a nice card saying he was flattered by the poems, and he wished me the best, but please don't write again. I was crushed, but I respected his request and didn't write another poem for him. I took the chance, and I failed at it.

But so what? Love doesn't always work out. But I still have those sonnets--all of them--the ones I wrote the first guy, the MANY sonnets I wrote to the hubby. And, even better, I have the hubby. And it all started with that little Valentine's Day love sonnet, which he still keeps framed right next to his bed after 22 years.

So, in honor of Valentine's Day, I'm giving away a copy of the anthology Death by Chocolate, which contains 6 stories of love and chocolate, along with a box of chocolates for your enjoyment. You need to live in the U.S., since I don't want to pay through the nose to send this little package out (sorry!).

To enter, all you have to do is chime in below, telling me your own thoughts on love and taking chances. I'll draw a name out of a hat and announce the winner by FRIDAY (so comment before then!). Also, today I'm posting in THREE other places as part of the Death by Chocolate blog tour, and each post is different, so check 'em all out:

Patricia's Particularity

Authors by Authors

Ink Spot and Roses

All three give you another opportunity to win the book (and some chocolates), so feel free to comment everywhere, including at my post on today's Death by Chocolate blog. Remember to comment for your chance to win! And happy Valentine's Day!

Time

Anger wanes

With time

Unless we grasp onto it

With hate in our fingers

Bitterness pounding in our forehead

Resentment oozing from our skin

Like sweat

Selfish to prove others wrong

To be right instead of at peace.

Sorrow leaves us

As years pass

Unless we decide

We need to understand

The reason for it

Unless we need to find

That we have caused it in some way

That we can blame someone

For the tears

Let go of time

Release your pain and hate

Forgive

For while you seek the

Answers

That do not exist

You lose

The time you have

For nothing