Anti-Envy

So many of us wander through life envying those around us. Others drive nicer cars, have nicer jobs, look nicer, dress nicer, have nicer kids (okay, so we rarely think that), etc. 

But today is the day I step into others' shoes and decide I don't want to walk in them. So here's my ANTI-Envy list:

1.  My husband. He has a job where most people dislike him, and I don't think I'd handle it all that well. Besides, he has to mow the lawn, and that seems like a pretty craptacular job. He burned his hand on the mower yesterday, too, so he's dealing with some pain right now. 

2.  My sister. It would take people at NASA a whole two hours to figure out my knowledge of science wouldn't fill a teaspoon. And even if they didn't fire me, they wouldn't listen to a word I said because men who were even stupider than I (but who'd been there longer) would disagree with me constantly. 

3.  Construction workers, especially in hot places like the deep South, or Texas. Okay, even here I don't envy them. Nor do I envy others with outside jobs, like trash workers. Can you imagine being a garbage dump attendant? How would I ever wash the stench out of my clothes?

4.  My daughter's 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Westbrook, and every other person in her profession. Having two kids who ask constant questions, who demand constant attention, and who think repeating stupid non-jokes over and over is funny is trying enough for me. Imagine 25 of these, hopped up on chocolate milk and SpongeBob, demanding my attention all at once.  Just thinking about it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

5.  Barack Obama, or pretty much any head honcho of anything. I have enough trouble running my own house--keeping things clean, paying bills, etc.--without having a ton of people watch everything I do on television. If I miss a payment on something, it's no real big deal (just a few more dollars), but if I'm a CEO of something, and we tank, I'm in it deep. And the salary doesn't make up for that, either, especially since now the public will know if I get some bonus I don't deserve.

6.  Anyone homeless. I am so spoiled, for if it rains, or snows, or blows, or gets too hot, I can watch it all from inside my sheltered environment. I only go outside for fun. And my kids are in the same boat. They have all the food they want, we can eat whenever we're hungry (or even if we aren't), invite people to stay with us overnight, etc. We get mail regularly, like our neighbors (for the most part), and enjoy living in a community of other relatively contented, sheltered people.  The homeless have no such protections, either for themselves or their children.

The list could go on and on, but I think I'll stop there for now. Perhaps I'll create more for tomorrow... 

Whom do you Anti-Envy?