Too Long between Posts

I really should be writing this on my Not Writing Anything Anymore Dammit blog,  but I've been just as lame updating that site as this one.

But this is going to change.

I have found--and I am not alone in this--that it is so very easy to get myself to work on my novels... and so very hard to get myself to work on anything else. Especially marketing.

It's my failing... but it has to end. The response to my book has been overwhelmingly positive, but the chances of its ever taking off and gaining a wide readership is slim to none if I don't market the book. Therefore, to fight my stupid reluctance to market the book (despite my desire to see it go places), I am making a list.

If you are a regular reader of my blog in the past, you know I am a lister. I make lists on a daily basis, and I am currently about to finish filling my fourth list book.

So here's my marketing list for JULY:

1. Make a list of potential agents using my current and prospective books.
2. Write some short stories (either for publication or contest or both) to get my name out there more and get more items published.
3. Set up at least three book signings or reading nights with local or state bookstores.
4. Build an author website.
5. Send out at least 5 agent queries.
6. Write on my blogs at least twice per week.

It's a short list, but it's one I've been ignoring for almost a year since my book came out, just like I've been ignoring my blogs. I know I'll still be revising the third Joshua book in the series, as well as working on the start of a manga version of book 1, but this stuff also needs attending to.

What tasks have you been avoiding? How might you add them to your list for July?

Summer Goals

New Year's Resolutions never work on me, if only because I've been on an academic calendar since I was five (perhaps even since my older sister was five). Trying something new mere days before the school semester starts up again is foolish in the extreme, so, naturally, the new things have rarely remained permanent.

Therefore, I am making a short list of SUMMER Resolutions. My son is finished with school, and my daughter has two days more before her classes close, so it looks like I will have TWO WHOLE FREAKIN' MONTHS without tons of daily obligations. What can I accomplish in two months? Hopefully I will manage to do a LOT.

Here is my short list:

1. Completely revise Thomas novel #2
2. Set up and implement an action plan to submit Thomas novel #1 to agents.
3. Sew LOTS of clothing--daily wear stuff AND costumes.
4. Re-cover all four of the dining room chairs.
5. Refinish the hardwood floors in my house.
6. Lose 20 lbs.

Now I just need to put this list up in BOLD somewhere and make sure I take steps EVERY SINGLE DAY towards each goal (I will allow myself to focus on a particular goal, too, but #6 will take daily action).

Even more important, I will NOT add more goals!

At least I think I won't.

Y tu? What are your goals for the summer? Please share if you have them!

Writing Wednesday: Why I Don't Need an Agent (Yet)

I don't need an agent.

I don't.

No, I really don't.

I know what an agent can get me. I know that I can only send out my manuscript to a handful of publishing houses without one. I also know that even if I'm allowed to submit my stuff to a publisher, an agent's recommendation will carry more weight. I know that the agent will help me get a good contract, that I'll have a much better chance of making it as an author if I have one.

I know all of this. But I still don't need an agent.

Why? Because none of my books are ready. Not a single one. Because, even if I manage to write the best pitch letter EVER, the book it describes isn't good enough to be published.

Right now all my stuff sucks.

I don't need an editor, either. I don't need anyone to tell me my stuff sucks, mainly because I know it does already. I even know what's wrong with most of the plots/characters/etc. I just can't figure out whether fixing these problems is worth it. Will the novel, if repaired, be any more worth reading?

I don't know. I'm at that awful stage in so many things--painting, writing, piano playing--when I'm good enough to realize how completely awful I am. It's a hard peak to reach, but it's even harder to face when I've done so much work only to realize that most of it's a waste.

So I don't need an agent.

I need a good book to read, a good night's sleep, and a little perspective. Then I'll return to the computer and start editing (again), return to the piano to work on Pachebel's damn Canon in D, and return to my paints to try something new. I do realize this is all practice. I just wish I could see my practicing getting me somewhere.

Perhaps I need a little courage, too. Anybody got some extra courage they can spare?

The Art of Waiting Patiently

A recent game I tapped into on Yahoo Games had a cute message as it loaded up:

"i am somewhat impatient, but i know that the game will be loaded soon"


It made me think so much of my own life--well, two aspects of it, anyway. You see, all my life I've been struggling with my weight. I could never fit into my older sister's hand-me-downs as a kid (and that was pointed out quite often, given our financial hardship), and even now, as a Zumba Fitness instructor and careful eater, I still have trouble losing a pound. My husband gives up desserts and loses ten pounds without really thinking much about it. He admits he would have given up years ago if he'd seen as little progress as I have in trying to lose weight.

Yet I've seen the same sort of success in my writing. (Translation: not bloody much). I've sent out tons of queries and received nearly as many rejection slips (nearly as many only because many agents and publishers don't send replies if they don't like something). Not a single request for more material. My plays have been only slightly more successful, only because I've been pretty lucky to find places where I can do a staged reading or get some great feedback.

So why do I do this? People have asked me why I don't just give up. Why continue to do Zumba if it doesn't make the pounds drop off the way it seems to for everybody else? Why keep writing if I don't sell any novels?

I see the rational basis for this. It is logical. But it errs because it's based on an assumption which simply isn't true: it assumes I do these two things only because of the outcome I'm hoping for.

I know many who do. I know all sorts of people who try Zumba--or vegetarianism, or some diet fad--only because of the outcome they hope for. I know writers who are only concerned with completing a novel so that it can be marketed.

They and I do not work towards the same ends. Or perhaps, for me, the ends simply aren't as important as the act of doing. Why do I do Zumba? Because I adore Zumba. It is more fun than I have doing any other physical activity. It fills me with joy, fosters in me a belief in my own beauty and sexuality, frees me like nothing else does. The act itself is fantastic, no matter its outcome.

The same goes for writing. I don't write to finish. The process is what matters. Writing is my therapy, my shy chance to speak, the who I am in a long list of whats. It's part of my chromosomal make-up, and the only frustrating parts of it include not making enough time for it and not being as good a writer as I would like. But writing is bliss. Sheer bliss.

I suppose the title is a lie, then. I don't have to be patiently waiting for the outcomes I would love to happen. I'm delirious in the moment, charged with energy and elated by the passion of these two activities. I'm not really waiting patiently for anything. It's already here.

Where do you find your joy? Do you hold onto this, or does the outcome matter more?