The Light at the End of Many Tunnels

I've been far too busy to write much lately. Even here in my blog, where writing is never a chore.

But now, at 6:o5 a.m., two hours after I woke for the day, I am grinning. And that is because, on this Labor Day weekend, I am close to getting three HUGE projects finished.

Finally.

The first is a project I took out of love. You see, I adore books, and I love libraries, and I especially love my child's school library (and its librarians). I volunteered there last year, and at the end of the school year I took home three boxes of damaged books to repair for the next school year. Needless to say, I didn't finish rebinding, pasting, taping, and other repairs, but now I am 1/2 a box away from finishing the whole lot of them. I've turned in two boxes of repaired books, and I hope to take the third box in Tuesday. Hurray!

I'm also only three chapters away from finishing an edit for a lovely writer from Scotland, whose book about mermaids and fairies and Loch Ness will likely charm many readers to come once it is published. It's been fascinating to read and a joy to edit, but I grin still with the knowledge that the task will be complete very soon, and she will have her beloved manuscript back. I feel almost like a midwife, helping an author deliver her baby into the world. I'm sure she will be as glad to have the manuscript back as I will be to know I've finished it.

My last task to complete is the one that has waited the longest. I purchased fabrics (of my son's choosing) last FEBRUARY, but only now am I working on the final quilt stitches of his second comforter. I completed his twin comforter about a month ago, and since then I have been working on the full one. I'll post pictures of it on my I'm Not Writing Anything Anymore blog once it is finished. I'm nearly halfway through the stitching, too, so I know it's a matter of hours.

There we are, then, three huge projects, three more days, and then all three will be off my task list. Then what will I do? My other blog would suggest I still won't be writing, but hopefully y'all know me better than that.

My next big project? Finally finishing my Thomas novel--FOR GOOD--and sending it off to agents. And I can't wait.

Any tunnels you see the light at the end of? Or are you still trudging through the darkness, hoping to see that light soon? I'd love to know.

Anonymous

In case you also check out my Not Writing blog, this post is in both places. I thought I'd just write it in one, but my thoughts shoved the poem I had in my head out, so this is all I can think about:

I was slapped in the face this morning. Not literally, but I'm stinging from it just the same.

And it's all my fault. And it's all because I haven't been writing.

For YEARS, ever since I took freshman composition, I've been in love with the idea of writing a play about Edward de Vere, seventeenth Earl of Oxford, whom I suspect wrote Shakespeare's plays. But over the past many years (too many to mention, believe me), I didn't write. I have tons of research for it, a huge collection of books on it, and I'd even made an outline of the major events so that I could someday write it.

Only now I don't have to. The movie is coming out in October, and it's calledAnonymous. I've missed my opportunity.

Fiction writing is one thing--sure, J.K. Rowling has made the one and only Harry Potter, and Tolkien's Lord of the Rings only happens once, but other fantastic characters can still lead beautiful lives on paper. I noticed, too, that yet ANOTHER production of The Three Musketeers is coming out. (How many versions are we going to get? The book is better than any of them.)

But Oxford's story should only happen once. I just hope it's done beautifully, that it is better than I can wish for, that people can see the irony, the tragedy, the poetry of the whole situation. Either way, whether it sucks or holds audiences spellbound, it's too late for me to write it. I've missed that chance because I haven't written it. Hell, I am probably still a decade away from having the skill to write it.

I love the story, though, so I will go to see it in October, hoping it's brilliant, but still feeling a bit compressed because I will never write it.

I'm Not Writing Anything Anymore, Dammit!

I had intended to post photos of my backsplash work last Sunday, and if you scroll down through this message, you'll see that I am still not posting them today. I haven't even taken pictures of the stupid things yet (stupid, yet beautiful), mainly because I keep forgetting until it's too dark outside, but I have to get my pics in this morning, before I hop on a plane bound for Seattle with my two kids.

I could have posted about something else, but the nasty voices in my head--you know, the ones that tell me to stop writing, tell me all my stuff sucks, remind me how much time I've already wasted on all these novels and poems and blog postings and plays--have been shoving their fists into my brain this week, punching the tissues pretty hard.

Thursday, though, I had an epiphany. Writing is therapy, right? (It is for me. If it isn't for you, I'm sorry, since it's SOOOO much cheaper than a therapist.) Thus, if I write to get through issues, to analyze past situations that still bug me, to figure meaningless things out in some meaningful way, why not do it with these stupid voices?

As a result, I have created the I'm Not Writing Anything Anymore, Dammit! blog. It's the antithesis of the encouragement blog for the would-be writer. Call it the discouragement blog, if you will, but my intent is to get all the self-doubt (which I know at least a few of you have, given some recent e-mail exchanges with several of you) out in the open, then shred it, show it for what it is, and laugh at it (whenever possible).

I'm still working out my weekly schedule for the new blog, and I'm probably going to work hard on creating more structure for this blog while formatting that one. If you like the feel good gentleness characteristic on Creative Arts, you won't like this new one. If you've wondered all these years why I've been so nice and found my sweetness sickening, the other blog just might be for you. I'll be placing a lot of your blogs on my blogroll there, once I get the site going. Today, though, I have to finish packing, take some long-awaited pictures, and fly a very long way with two kids. We will all be exhausted when we get there, but there will be time to relax--and to work hard on my writing (I hope).

I will post again as soon as I can. Promise. Until then, don't let those nasty voices take advantage of you. And if they slap you across the face, slap them back. I'll do the same.