Friday, March 29, 2013

The Things I've Learned

I had a whole rant written.

Yup. I wrote it about two weeks ago. It was snarky. It would have made you raise your hackles (whatever that means), get righteously angry, and feel all sorts of sympathy for me.

But it won't be happening. I don't really need sympathy.

No one died. No one was seriously damaged. In the end, we finished the play, and it went okay.

Suffice it to say that I'm done. Absolutely done. I'll be going this morning to the theatre to clean up the costumes, put them all back where they belong, and be finished with it.

And then I'll put myself back where I belong. Which is not at the theatre. At least not that theatre.

I've learned a great deal about myself through this, too. Some good things, some bad.

  1. I don't give up on things very easily. If I've given up on you, or on a project, it was only because the project was simply impossible to complete. I'll keep my claws tightly grasping a wall on a climb up even if you're throwing bricks at my head. And not missing. I'll just grit my teeth, wipe the blood out of my eyes, and keep going.
  2. I can give up. Watch out if I do, though. It's likely going to be permanent. I should warn the hubby right now that if we ever divorce, I will likely never speak to him again. Not ever. My family figured that one out 20 years ago. I'm sure they think I'll relent at some point, but every year I second guess my decision less and less (i.e., not at all). 
  3. I don't waste my time on people who hurt me. I especially don't waste my time on people who hurt my kids. And my kids are my first priority, so they trump everything else. People who think I'm going to be okay with them slapping one of my kids (figuratively) across the face, or throwing bricks at my eight-year-old son while he is trying to climb a wall better be ready to have bricks thrown back at them. 
  4. I will take the high road. But I'll only do it once. And you'll never have the chance to make me do it again. See #2.
I guess that makes me determined and stubborn, and, like Mr. Darcy, "My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever." 

Now, though, I have time free--free enough to walk, exercise, play with my kids, paint, and, THANK GOD, write. 

Off to walk. Then shower. Then write. 

It'll be a good day.

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